Thou Shalt Not

(Ten words of wisdom for tape people to live by)

By John Johnston
PSTC Technical Advisor

When applying thine adhesive tape to a surface, thou shalt not apply it, nor to anything that in there is, when it is as cold as the night of the desert.

Thine applied surface must also be dry as the desert, free from desert sand and dust, and free from anointing oil.

Thou shalt not expect thy tape to stick to low surface energy surfaces, as thy God doesn't do those kinds of miracles (or windows).

Thy samples should bring honor to thy Lord. Thou shalt not use shabby samples that have seen many moons in thy camel pack, for verily, senility breeds oxidation, continued cross linking of thy adhesive, distortion of thy rolls, and contempt.

Thou shalt know thy game, and speak in words of wisdom when called forth to speak in the many temples thou visiteth, for verily, thou shalt look a chump if thou knowest not.

Thou shalt not stick thy tapes onto thy customer's desk, bookcase, file cabinet or anything that in there is. For thou wilt bringeth the wrath of thy customer upon thine head when thou removeth his varnish.

Thou shalt not apply thy tape to an anodized surface and expect the miracle of clean removal, for verily, anodized surfaces function as prime coats.

Thou shalt keep thine ear to the ground for the approach of thine enemies and learn of his movements, so that thou wilt not be caught with thine aba up.

Thou shalt speak in words of truth of thy products, and not make false claims, for both thy customer and thy competition will eventually learn of the utter tripe thou speaketh and will speak ill of thee throughout the land. (And might even sue thee for all thy sheep and thy goats and thy camel, thy tent and thy shirt)

Thou shalt go forth in fine raiment, and keep thy appointed times, stand proud, and bear the countenance of one who has just won a million shekels. For no one loves a sourpuss.

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